"When your head gets noisy, write it down" turn out it looks like a complaining and crazy blog now. It was blog full of critical thinking, social cause awareness, motivation and other positive energy. But at a point, it flipped 180 degree, there some posts tried to back to those "positive energy only", but not yet succeeded. Keep fall and fall. Anyway, dont you think write down your crazy thoughts here is better than to mainstream social media?

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Dr. Aulia Risma

The tragic story of dr. Aulia Risma Lestari is deeply saddening. A profession that looks so elegance, even associated with heroic act has a lot of monster inside there. She struggle during her medical education, facing unbearable bullying from seniors during her residency. Its sad that it needs a loss for a serious issue to gain serious attention. I dont know tho if its really well handled. My prayers are with her. May Allah forgive her and give her a better place there.

Whats in her diary is scary. I can feel how painful it was, how lonely it was and how hopeless it was.

Ada yang bisa menolong saya?

Apa Tuhan tau saya tersiksa?

Apa Tuhan tau aku kesakitan?

Kenapa di setiap aku berharap.

Tidak pernah ada jawabannya.

Apa Tuhan membenciku?

Aku selalu menjerit mohon pertolongan.

Tapi kenapa aku dibiarkan? 

Apa aku dilahirkan hanya untuk mengakhiri?

Seni kehidupan mana yang kulihat dahulu sehingga aku setuju untuk memililih dilahirkan?

Aku tidak serta merta menyerah tanpa berusaha.

Aku sudah menanggung banyak.

Maafkan aku yang menyerah.

Aku sudah berjuang.

Aku sudah sangat berusaha.

Aku mohon, Aku mohon.

Aku tidak sanggup lagi.

Bila harus menanggung lebih lama lagi.

Aku sendirian, aku berjuang sendiri.

Tidak ada yang menolongku.

Aku tidak ingin sesakit ini lebih lama lagi.

Semoga Tuhan mengampuniku.

Tuhan, aku sakit.

Aku mohon tempat aku pulang.

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