Behind

I have heard many people advice on how we, especially woman, not to stuck with age. To not compare yourself with other. Every person has their own time. Oh even me, I believed how our step is well designed, and I did believe. But see, I am 32 this year and like have nothing. I dont mean to not feel grateful with what I have now, I am still alive, not starving, not living in the middle of the war.

But let me be honest. I dont have a career, not even a job. I have no house, I have no money as normal people in my age, I have no fame, I have a very few friends, I am not close to relatives. I am not married, not even have a boyfriend. While many many people out there, have a stable job, have enough money to fulfill not only their needs but also their wants. Have a man besides them, have a family filling their heart, have friends they can meet every weekend.

Despite hard work I did, despite prayers I sent, despite patient I kept, despite kindness I chose to do, the goodness isnt on my side. I start to wonder whether God the All-Just is really exist, or this universe just run by itself and good life is not for everyone.