"When your head gets noisy, write it down" turn out it looks like a complaining and crazy blog now. It was blog full of critical thinking, social cause awareness, motivation and other positive energy. But at a point, it flipped 180 degree, there some posts tried to back to those "positive energy only", but not yet succeeded. Keep fall and fall. Anyway, dont you think write down your crazy thoughts here is better than to mainstream social media?

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

This isn't counted?

Its been more than 5 years I hold myself to not cut my wrist. To not tear apart my chest or cut hand. That feel constantly haunt me when my heart feel pain. I feel it could stop the pain but I know its not the way.

Behind my cry, behind my lying on bed, I manage my self, I manage the storm inside me. Is it counted?

I think its too low to be counted. Many woman do way better than me. I am just seeking an excuse. While people outside they are seriously battle with their own self, seriously build their life, working hard and be strong, I am just doing bare minimum: to keep being alive.

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