Anxious on Money and Future

My heart feel uncomfortable. I just pay an amount of money for my sister college. I think this isnt right feel but it exist. I dont feel good. Its a lot of money. I paid more before but maybe because of my current situation it feels different. 

I do want to help my sister. This time the youngest one. I just dont feel good to pay that amount of money to the university that I am sorry I dont see it as a promising university. With all the current education and working system, there just no excitement.

I am broke, I dont work. For the last 2 years I dont really make money. Its still her 2nd semester, its still a long way. I feel anxious how I could manage my financial and her education. Even if I got job in Indonesia, i feel like it wont be enough for her and me and my monther that I still need to send her money. And the other one sister that I feel like she can come anytime and ruin more me or my family's money.

Allah, I know u are the richest. But I should be realistic right? Its not like You Give money just by pouring it from the sky.

I feel anxious now, i am scared, i feel uncomfortable in my chest yet I cant be too open to say that its about money. I just feel too cheap to be a human being that has that much worry about money while now its not like I have 0. I still have some. But magic isnt exist, it will gone all oneday. No guarantee i would get job with great payment.

Then, when can I really have money for my self? To travels while I am still young and to build my own house for me to rest.

I feel old enough but still behind ㅠ.