"When your head gets noisy, write it down" turn out it looks like a complaining and crazy blog now. It was blog full of critical thinking, social cause awareness, motivation and other positive energy. But at a point, it flipped 180 degree, there some posts tried to back to those "positive energy only", but not yet succeeded. Keep fall and fall. Anyway, dont you think write down your crazy thoughts here is better than to mainstream social media?

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Suffocating

Maybe its also due to the hormone that Im expected to be in period in next 2 days.

My tooth and alonst half of my face are paining and when remembering that I also still have untreated health issue, I feel uncomfortable to my own body. I feel bad to not treat my body well.

I cant explain the numbness and the pain my body feel at the same time. I feel lonely to the point that I am not worth alive. What for? No friends, no family, no job, no achievements. Just magining put effort to make new friends is overwhelming and so do build a family and do job. I dont feel worthy.

I do have awarness of what I have so that I have to be grateful. Food in the fridge, room heater to warm my body from thw minus temperature outside and money for living. Thank you God. But still I want to say, I am suffocating right now.

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