"When your head gets noisy, write it down" turn out it looks like a complaining and crazy blog now. It was blog full of critical thinking, social cause awareness, motivation and other positive energy. But at a point, it flipped 180 degree, there some posts tried to back to those "positive energy only", but not yet succeeded. Keep fall and fall. Anyway, dont you think write down your crazy thoughts here is better than to mainstream social media?

Friday, February 14, 2020

I Think I Could Die for this Loneliness

Loneliness is painful.

After I moved to Seoul and before starting my life in the University, which is a year ago, I was at the point when if I die on my bed, people will find me after 2 weeks. Now, since my routine is come to lab almost everyday, yaa they will find me after 1 week I think. Still sad, but better :)

I just remembered I think the loneliness start at 2017 when I move to Korea but still fluctuate and not this bold. Lately, I even realize that this feeling could actually kills me. I literally dont have anyone to share my daily life story with. People may have at least their family, but I dont.

I miss the time where I lived with my friends, talking about not so important thing like, what to eat, when will do the laundry, what gossip are happening, make a plan to go to traditional market together, or even just an ask "who is in order to clean the bathroom this week?".

I tried to find the science point of view of this phenomenon and I took a look on videos on Youtube. I found one great video to give you the picture of what happen to you. Why it hurt you, how it start, how yourself make it worse and the reasonable ways to overcome that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA.

I should make a move if I want to get rid of it. The way to get it is also a pain actually. But, what else I can do?
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