"When your head gets noisy, write it down" turn out it looks like a complaining and crazy blog now. It was blog full of critical thinking, social cause awareness, motivation and other positive energy. But at a point, it flipped 180 degree, there some posts tried to back to those "positive energy only", but not yet succeeded. Keep fall and fall. Anyway, dont you think write down your crazy thoughts here is better than to mainstream social media?

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Im not saying its OCD

Its not that much. It is not it. But I wanna say that I feel super disturbed with certain things.

Too many things in a place which do not match. Even more if some look dirty.

Handle of toilets door, faucet handle in toilets, handle for passanger on public transportation, handle of shopping cart, hands of people with infectious illness (even its only a cold).

Disgusting things. I wanna mentioned but I cant 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. Even just that tiny of house lizard's feces, I could feel like wanna vomit and lose appetite (and bad mood ofcourse). And disturbed and stress and should pass the time unproductively and again stressful. And I cant express. How to express? I could just hold.

To whom you can share thing like this? Moreover to people that doesnt have clue with human mentality. To share this kind of thing is annoying for them and doesnt make any sense.

My room isnt clean enough. But I have the knowledge of whats there and I am fine with whats there.

I swear that feeling of getting disturbed for all of those things is super uncomfortable. I am thinking to get hypnotherapy so I could get rid of those feeling. But it must be expensive and is it a solution?

When I have my ownhouse is enough clean and under my control and be in an area where I can avoid disgusting things, maybe its enough. 

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